Bicycles and Cinema

7 07 2009

It never ends well, but like a battered wife, I go back to the bike rentals in Egypt again and again. I know someone is going to end up hurt, but what else is there to do? It’s not like they have parks or Barnes & Noble with a cozy little kids section on every corner. So we rent bikes.

Actually this time, Roofie wanted to rent a four-seat contraption, that was part  paddle boat, part bicycle and part tractor. The end result was something that looked like Fred Flintstone’s car.

We got in, Daddy Yankee and Roofie in the front, Juniper and I in the back. It was a bumpy ride, but everyone seemed to be having fun. And then a quick swerve to avoid what could generously be called a pothole, and Juniper’s foot got caught between the pedals and the ground. Her flip flop toreflipflop and her foot was blackened by the chain grease, except for where it was bleeding near the ankle. I took her in to the pharmacy (there is one on every corner) and asked for some hydrogen peroxide and cotton. I cleaned her up, and 30 minutes later, it was time for us to go see a movie.

Now, my mother has bragged about this movie theater for three years, since it opened in her subdivision. It is not much to brag about, except that once you pass the popcorn stand and go through a lobby, it is an open-air theater. So during boring stretches in the film, you can look up and gaze at the stars.

The movie was called Bobos, named after a severely obese boy who had a small role in the film. It starred a well-known Egyptian actor, Adel Emam, and one of the early scenes showed the 69-year-old at an outdoor party where, of course, a bellydancer was the main entertainment. And Adel Emam was smitten with her huge breasts and her legs, one of which a hip-high slit exposed in its entirety.

Cut to the next scene with the two of them in bed. As in most Egyptian movies, what they were doing in bed is implicit, but then the cops bust in, about a dozen of them, saying Emam’s character owes someone $10 million for some business transaction gone awry. He promises to comply, but first needs one of the officers to hand him the “G-string.” After picking up several objects in the room–a bottle with a long neck, a pink ball with an elongated tip–he finally comes to the red, lacy panties and hands them over, expressionless. Emam takes them and then asks for the “boxers.” The same confusion ensues, and finally when he gets it right, Emam shuffles out flanked by two officers wearing boxers wedged up his behind.

How this is funny is beyond me, but the crowd found it amusing. A couple of scenes later showed a business man on discovering  he’s just lost millions in the stock market,  shooting himself in the mouth, blood splattering in the back of his head. At that point I took Roofie and we walked out. We’ll hold out for the Harry Potter movie that comes out in theaters here in a week.

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